I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
