Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
