She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
