When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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