you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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