So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
