We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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