I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
