Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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