i jhust puked up my retainher.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
