I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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