i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
