so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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