Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
