I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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