I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize