I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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