i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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