I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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