yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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