Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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