she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
