I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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