Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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