i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
