you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you win again, gameday.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize