We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
