Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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