Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
