He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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