bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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