i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
