that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
