I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
