you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
this will be a night to untag.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
