You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize