we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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