i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
