I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
