i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
