dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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