somebody snuck up and got me drunk
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
