Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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