these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
