I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
