You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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