I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i dont even know how to be here
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
