when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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