Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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