Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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