she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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