do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
