i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
