Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
