Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need a beard to bite.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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