Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
