I just saw a hot homeless man
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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