Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
