I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
