return my video game
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
