Heybabeimwearingurpanties
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
how does that bad decision feel?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
