Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
