Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
