whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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