Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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