So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
