I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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