You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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