its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
