Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
