i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
