once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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