I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
